Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
