no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
