he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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