Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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