Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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