The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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