I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
