Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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