That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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