Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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