better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
