it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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