Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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