i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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