i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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