Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
