Small penises have feelings too.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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