So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
