I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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