I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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