their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
