I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
