If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
