I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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