i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
