She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
