He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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