Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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