the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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