Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Of course I have a pirate flag
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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