God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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