She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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