nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
