I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
