I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
did i walk over a car last night?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
