I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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