If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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