I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
