Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
