Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
