Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
