No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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