And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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