I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
