i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
