After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
