she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
