he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
