Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
