Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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