I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
