do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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