Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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