And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
