i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
