I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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