butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Found the puke drawer
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
