that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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