were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
