Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
