I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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