yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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