Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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