brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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